Last weekend was brutal tough, for some unknown reason a lot of things came to the top of the kettle so to speak. The kids lost out on a really neat experience and it made things feel worse. A friend of mine I found out is having trouble and will have to step up things to be there to help out.
This isn't a exciting blog for sure. This isn't the same person who wrote the old blog that I took down, that person has changed for the better.
I need to get some things moving in a more forward direction, sort of put more pressure on things and myself to be in a better position. Payday is soon and that will be good to have all the ducks paid.
The worst part of the new life is that when you sleep sometimes the old life comes into play, and that moment when you wake up and dream and real are meshed while your brain wakes up is tough.
I guess this is a warning sign for me, I have began removing myself from contact with a lot of folks, I have sat and watched my phone and basically my folks are the only ones who call to see if I am breathing.
Dating is no fun at all, and it is a fine line of what people call dating and prostitution. Really when you think about it, both dating and prostitution involve spending money on a woman to spend time with them.
Its a goofy world for sure
Friday, May 9, 2014
Very few words can describe the pain of losing it all. Having to rebuild what you think of as life a new. The biggest part to overcome is the fact you cannot trust. Learning to trust and who to trust is a major task. When you trust someone so deeply for so long, and have that destroyed, its a major hurdle to overcome. but you find solace in the little things, you sacrifice yourself and even the ability to eat to make sure the kids have a happy time. You learn that what others had suppressed or criticized was wrong. Discovering you are right about so much and capable of more than anyone expected is one of the best things of all. Saddest thing of all is seeing people that you once thought of as honorable become selfish. I have met lots of people good and bad that make each day stronger. I have talked to people that have given a greater perspective to life. Each day is a struggle. Each day is an adventure. I am better for it.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Life has been radically changed over the last year. Everything that I used to believe was turned upside down with much pain and suffering. I have spent the last year repairing myself and the mess I discovered. It has not been a fun process at all. At least the future is mine to control, I have learned many new things about just how much ass I can kick when I have to, and I have the peace of mind that my new friendships all begin with honesty and no deceptions.